Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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