I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
