is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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