I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize