brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
