My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
