I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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