how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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