Just cropdusted the office
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
