hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
