did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
