I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
