my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
