I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
