I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
