he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
