you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
