my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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