the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
