I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
