i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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