tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
