Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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