I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
