Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
