I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
