I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize