You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize