I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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