He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
