I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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