he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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