He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
