You work out of a Hotel?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize