It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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