I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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