Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it was like eating out sand paper
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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