Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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