we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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