Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Less talking, more tequila
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
