His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
