We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
