she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
