Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
