My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
