your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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