He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
