You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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