shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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