I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
