sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
