Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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