U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
