Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
