I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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