do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So drunk its hurt
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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