when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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