we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
