We should be called the Road Head Warriors
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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